A sexual kind of fluidity is called a brosexual. A person who is abrosexual might identify with the term gay, and then feel attracted to people of all genders, but then feel little to no sexual attraction at all.
Typically, abrosexual people experience fluctuations in terms of who they’re attracted to as well as how intense their attraction is.
“Being abrosexual isn’t about changing your mind or using a different label. It means that your experience changes over time.”
“The word abro meansdelicate orgraceful. A person’s sexual attraction can change over time.”
“Asexuality is often considered a part of the spectrum. These aren’t the same thing.”
Asexuality is where someone experiences little to no sexual attraction.
A person who is abrosexual finds that their attraction changes over time. Some people who are asexual might not have a lot of sexual attraction.
They might fluctuate between identifying with the term ‘asexual’ to identifying with the term ‘allosexual‘ (the opposite of asexual). They might also identify with the terms ‘demisexual‘ or ‘graysexual‘ from time to time.
Some people find that their attraction changes over time, but not everyone does.
It is possible to be both asexual and asexual at the same time.
“Heterosexuality, pansexuality, and homosexuality are terms that refer to the genders of the people you are attracted to. The term abrosexuality doesn’t specify a gender, but refers to the fact that your sexual attraction changes over time.”
An abrosexual person might find that they identify with the term ‘pansexual,’ later with ‘heterosexual,’ and later with ‘homosexual’ — all while being abrosexual.
You can identify with many labels at once. It is okay to not use any labels to describe your sexual orientation.
Different people have a different sexual orientation. Some people find that their attraction capacity changes in a matter of days, while others feel it shifting over time.
Abrosexual is a label that is used by people who find their attraction shifting frequently.
Some examples of asexuality can be found here.
- You might feel attracted to both men and women on the same day.
- You might feel attracted to people of all genders, but after a few weeks, you might feel like you only want to be with people of one gender.
- You might find yourself not having any sexual attraction, but months later you will start to feel attraction for people of all genders.
- You might be a man who is heterosexual, but after a few years you start to feel more attracted to men.
There is no right way to be a asexual.
A person with a sexual orientation can face unique challenges.
“Some abrosexual people avoid long-term relationships because they find that their attraction levels change often, and they might be attracted to their partner’s gender when they first commit to them, and later find that they’re no longer attracted to them.”
“Being abrosexual doesn’t mean you can’t have a romantic relationship. You can work towards it if you want. Many abrosexual people have happy, fulfilling relationships.”
Many people use the term ‘sexual fluidity‘ while others prefer abrosexual — it’s totally up to you to determine which label fits you. You also don’t have to use labels if you don’t want to!
“Most people know what you mean by sexually fluid. Abrosexual is a word that many people don’t know about.”
The term abrosexuality can be useful, as it specifies a sexual orientation that can change over time. This term can help you find people who share your same experiences.
“You might find that the word abrosexual doesn’t fit you anymore, just like a sexual orientation that changes over time.”
That is okay. If you want to change the labels, you can.
Although you shouldn’t feel pressured into coming out, you might want to share your sexual orientation with your loved ones.
The term abrosexuality is not well-known outside of the community. You might want to explain that the term means that your orientation changes over time.
You can tell your loved ones if you want.
- What does the term mean to you?
- What asexuality looks like for you. I used to feel attracted to both ABC and XYZ, but now I only feel attracted to ABC.
- How you would like to be supported.
- Any questions or challenges you have faced.
They might have questions about their sexual preferences. Share what you are comfortable with.
You can support a loved one who is asexual or sexually fluid by following the following ways.
- They are going through a phase, so don\’t suggest they are confused. Asking doubtful questions like “Are you sure?” and “But how do you know?” can be invalidating.
- “Unless they are interested in talking about their sexual experiences, don’t ask them questions about it.”
- They should be given space to talk about their experiences without being asked about their sexuality.
- “Don’t let them go to others. Don’t tell people they’re abrosexual without their permission.”
It is a good idea to ask how you can support them.
If you want to learn more about asexuality and sexual fluidity, there are online resources that can be helpful.
- Finding a Therapist who is Affirming.
- The guide is safer than the one for the gay community.
- Sexual attraction, behavior, and orientation are described in terms.
You can join online and in person support networks for the LGBTQIA+ community.
Sian Ferguson is a freelance writer and editor based in Grahamstown, South Africa. Her writing covers issues relating to social justice, cannabis, and health. You can reach out to her on Twitter.