12 Best Sex Positions for People Who Have Limited Mobility
The L Word: Generation Q and “Sex Education” show depictions of disabled and limited mobility pleasure-seekers being intimate.
These depictions are rare.
As sex educator Andrew Gurza, chief disability officer and co-founder of Bump’n, a company that creates sex toys by disabled people for disabled people, says, “It’s very rare for publications to think about people with chronic pain and limited mobility when disabled when rounding up sex positions.”
That is the reason we put together this guide. There are 12 sex positions for people who have limited mobility.
There is no wrong way to be happy. If you need a little creativity, you might try one of these positions.
Gurza recommends being honest if you have a person who can masturbate but not clean up after making a mess.
He says to be forthcoming about the fact that you need help cleaning up.
For this sex position, you’ll need to check out the latest sex toy made specifically for people with limited mobility: Bump’n.
“The lovechild of a foam roller and body pillow, Bump’n is designed to give people with limited hand and hip mobility the ability to use sex toys designed for dexterous fingers.”
“The pegs on the bottom half of the toy can hold sex toys. You can put the toy in the Bump’n and then get yourself into a position where you can self-pleasure.”
“If you don’t have a shirring device, you can rub yourself against the Bump’n.”
If you have limited hand mobility or your arthritis or carpal tunnel is acting up, this one’s for you. Why? Because it’s a solo sex position that *doesn’t* require the use of your hands.
You can flip onto your belly with a stuffed animal, pillow, or roller t-shirt positioned between your legs. Use your hips to create a pressure on your genitals.
To incorporate vibration into this position, opt for a palm-shaped vibrator, as the shape is optimal for grinding.
Frisky faucet play
The bath is a regular feature of self-care practices. It is in most self-pleasure practices.
To try it, set the temp to something you can handle. Then, back in the tub, use your faucet or a separate shower to make yourself feel better by positioning your genitals against the waterfall.
Another option is to invest in a disability-friendly plastic toy specifically designed to channel water right from the faucet to your crotch.
Just keep in mind that showers and baths can be slippery. That’s why sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast, suggests installing a grab bar.
She says that you will feel safer while playing.
A category of sex acts that involve any kind of hand, finger, or fist play, hand sex is hands-down (ha!) one of the most underrated forms of partnered play.
We think you will agree after you try one of the sex positions.
The sit & stroke
The receiver needs to assume a seated position on a bench, couch, chair, bed or in a wheelchair.
“The receiver should be at eye level if the giver kneels on the ground. If this isn’t comfortable for the person giving, another option is to sit beside them on the same seat.”
The receiver can have the giver stroke his pants or above.
If the giver has hand mobility limitations, an automatic stroker or finger vibrator may work well here.
Belly-down bum boinker
The belly-down bum boinker is an anal fingering position that requires the receiver to lay face down on a mattress or other soft surface.
“The person giving the gift can either lie next to them or position their chair so that their partner’s butt is within arm’s length.”
The giver should apply some lube to their finger as well as to their honey’s hole. Then, they can experiment with circling the entrance of the hole with their finger or palm or pressing into the hole with a finger or multiple fingers.
If the giver would be more comfortable using a toy, just make sure it’s a toy with a flared base.
No matter your specific mobility needs, it can feel really good to press your penis, vulva, or perineum against your person’s palm, hand, or fist.
Have your partner hold your hand. Either thrust up or down, depending on whether you are belly-up or not.
If the receiver enjoys anal or vaginal penetration, you can spice this position up with a hand harness, which can turn your hand into a strap-on dildo.
Good news: Whether you’re looking to deep throat, lick to your heart’s content, or make love to your partner’s bum, there’s an oral sex position that will accommodate your mobility.
The classic option is the only one that would complete the oral sex position list.
Gurza recommends that the less mobile partner lie on their back in the dead turtle position.
“Once you’re on your back and comfortable, your partner can straddle your face so that you’re sucking their dick or eating them out,” they say
If you have limited mobility, it is important that your partner has great communication skills because they will have to do a lot of physical work to get into position.
Have you heard of a positioning chair? Designed to be placed over a partner’s hips or mouth, a positioning chair can help hold up the partner on top. These can be a great addition to sex for people with knee, back, and hip difficulties.
It’s absolutely possible to enjoy 69ing if you’re in a chair or have other mobility things to work around, says Gurza.
He suggested that the less mobile partner lay on their back and the more mobile partner straddle their kisser.
“If either partner can’t comfortably go to Swirl City, you might choose to get in this position so you can smell and see your boo.”
You might also encourage them to wear an insertable vibrator, like a rimming butt plug. Hands-free pleasure for the win!
“Sideways 69 allows you to love one another with your mouth. It doesn’t require the same strength and mobility for one of the partners as regular 69 does.”
To try it, have both people lie on their sides in the spooning position, but so that their heads are in opposite directions.
“You can use your mouths to pleasure someone. An oral sex simulator toy can be helpful if you find that giving and receiving at the same time isn’t a good vibe.”
Maybe you enjoy being full. Maybe you enjoy thrusting. Maybe you like the feeling of being inside someone or having someone else inside of you.
If you like playing with the ball, you want to keep these positions in mind.
Sex swing satisfaction
Don’t sleep on sex swings and slings, suggests Yael R. Rosenstock Gonzalez, founder of Kaleidoscope Vibrations and author of “An Introguide to a Sex Positive You: Lessons, Tales, and Tips.”
“The receiver’s body is designed to be in the perfect position for reception.”
So, unlike positions like doggy style that require the receiver to physically hold themselves up, positions that utilize these tools do not.
“The partner with limited mobility needs to sit on the edge of a flat surface like a bed or table,” explains Katie Lasson, a clinical sexologist at Los Angeles-based sex shop Dimepiece.
The penetrating partner can position themselves between their legs.
“The partner with limited mobility can either rest their ankle on their partner’s shoulders or on a chair behind them.”
Lift and lay
Another twist on missionary has earned a spot on the list. And for good reason.
“Missionary variations all allow you to make eye contact with and kiss your partner,” says clinical sexologist Diana Nadim with Vibrator Guru. “It also frees up your hands for touching, rubbing, and holding a vibrator, and it doesn’t demand a great deal of hip flexibility.”
Her suggestion: Have the receiver prop their pelvis up with a comfortable pillow. “Elevating your buttocks alters the penetration angle, allowing your partner to penetrate deeper during vaginal sex,” she says.
It makes the anus more accessible.
The sexual preferences of people with limited mobility are the same as those of able-bodied people.
Your pleasure preferences, physical and emotional needs, and sexual partner(s) should all be considered when designing your Sexy Time.
There are some general tips that you should keep in mind.
Allow yourself to expand the definition of sex
“The way we’ve been taught to conceptualize sex is super limiting,” says Gurza. “It limits our pleasure, and fun, and our ability to connect with one another in an intimate and sensual way.”
They recommend that you think about the acts that feel more connected to yourself or your partner and allow them to be sex as well.
Sex could be anything from showering to dancing.
Hot take: Lube is the most under-utilized sexual tool for people all across the ability and mobility spectrum.
“O’Reilly says it’s essential for all bodies. lube helps replace unpleasant friction with pleasurable sensation by increasing the amount of slide-and-glide present during skin-to-skin, genital-to-genital, and genital-to-toy contact.”
She says you will want to have lube if you are going to have sex with someone.
If you use a mobility aid, use it to your benefit
Gurza recommends that you find a way to eroticize your mobility aid during sex.
They say that if you use a wheelchair, you can treat it like any other sex furniture. He says that your partner could grab onto the armrests to pull you closer.
If your chair reclines, you can use that to put your body in the most comfortable position for play.
Don’t shy away from sex furniture and positioning aids
Do you have a mobility aid that can be used as a positioning aid? Consider investing in a sex chair or sex pillow.
Sex swings and benches can help alleviate pressure and allow you to try new positions without being held up on a bed. edge pillows can support your body parts.
This guide on sex furniture can help you figure out exactly what you should invest in.
Keep consent top of mind
Quick consent PSA: If you’re sleeping with someone who has a mobility aid, you need to ask permission before touching it!
Some examples of what you might say.
- Can I help you recline your chair?
- Can I straddle you on your chair?
- Can I put your cane down?
Sex is for all people who are interested in having it — including those who have limited mobility.
“What’s most important is your comfort,” says Jess. “So whether you’re having solo sex, oral, or penetrative sex, find a position that feels comfortable for you and your partner(s).”
She says to be open to adjusting and moving if you experience any pain. Sex that is pleasurable and free from social script is the best sex.
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.