“It is common for people to dislike you, but it doesn’t mean they hate you.”

“If you haven’t heard from your friends in a while, you might wonder if they like you.”

It might be difficult for you to connect with your co-workers or people at events.

These experiences can make you feel like everyone hates you.

“This isn’t usually true. It is more likely that the people have a lot on their plate and that they will not be able to reach out in meaningful ways.”

But even when you know this on some level, worries can still outweigh logic, especially when you feel lonelier than usual or need a little social support for other reasons.

This feeling can still be overwhelming and cause distress, even after it passes.

It can be important to remember that if someone dislikes you, it is not a reflection of your worth. As the saying goes, stop trying to get everyone to like you because you don’t even like everyone.

It can be difficult to navigate. There are a few tips to help you deal with it.

If you’ve heard of the mind-body connection, you might already know that emotional and physical symptoms can play off each other. Chronic pain and chronic stress may be connected.

In basic terms, this connection means you might experience emotional symptoms, including anxious or fearful thoughts, when your physical needs go unmet.

Here is one example.

“You wake up and feel terrible. The night before, your partner didn’t reply to your texts, and the upstairs neighbors played music. You spent most of the night worrying because you couldn’t sleep.”

“You drink a lot of coffee to combat exhaustion, and skip breakfast. You feel jumpy and angry by the late morning. You sent a text for advice but haven’t heard back. You text a few more people, wanting to talk.”

Your phone feels like an accusation when the afternoon rolls around. You think no one is responding because they hate you.

“It is understandable to be concerned if your partner and best friend don’t come back to you right away.”

You will find it easier to accept the situation when you are fed, rested, and feel well physically.

Checking in

Next time you start to worry, take a moment to evaluate your physical condition.

  • Are you tired?
  • When did you last eat?
  • Have you had water recently?
  • Do you have a stomachache?
  • Have you done anything to relax lately?

Taking care of these needs can help relieve worries and keep the cycle from worsening.

Cognitive distortions refer to irrational patterns of thinking that affect your perception of reality. Many people experience them occasionally.

The feeling of everyone hates you can happen because of a few different distortions.

  • Catastrophizing: You don’t hear back from anyone for a day or two, so you start to imagine no one cares. This is one example of catastrophizing.
  • Personalization: When people seem distant or short with you or leave you out, you take it personally. You worry they hate you, but really, they just have other things on their mind or made an honest mistake.
  • Mind-reading: You assume other people hate you or harbor other negative thoughts, even though they’ve never said anything to indicate as much.
  • All-or-nothing thinking: Extreme thinking can mean you assume the people in your life either love you or hate you. If they seem even mildly annoyed, with or without a reason, you take this to mean they hate you and want nothing to do with you.

Identifying them is the first step in challenging these distortions.

Try to get to the root of the problem once you know what it is.

  • Reframing the situation: Identify a few alternate explanations for the concerning behavior. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt instead of making assumptions. Your partner may not have returned your texts because they felt sick and went to bed early, for example.
  • Looking for evidence: Challenge yourself to come up with three pieces of evidence supporting the conclusion that everyone hates you. Then, find three pieces of evidence to refute this. Which list makes more sense?

A good distraction can help occupy your mind and redirect your focus from unwanted thoughts.

“Spending time with others can open the doors to new interactions and social connections. It’s easier to shake the feeling that everyone hates you.”

Distraction ideas

  • If you feel ignored at a social event, start a conversation with someone new.
  • Ask the host if there is anything you can do to help at a party where no one is talking to you.
  • “Send a message to your friend and invite them to do something together when you wonder why you haven’t heard from them.”
  • If you’re home alone, get out of the house. Take a walk, go to a park or museum, or check out a community event.

Hobbies like reading, gardening, and video games can distract you while improving your mood and relieving negative feelings, so make sure to create time for yourself in your daily life.

People sometimes confuse healthy anger and frustration with hatred.

Conflict comes up in healthy relationships, too, and it’s important to handle things sooner rather than later.

Remaining in a fight can cause emotional tension and distress for everyone involved. The longer a conflict continues, the more likely other people will get drawn in.

Consider this example.

You and your partner consistently disagree on where you should settle down. They want to return to their hometown, while you want to explore a new big city. They enlist family and friends to help “convince” you that moving back to their hometown is the right move.

“Taking sides isn’t productive, but it happens It can make you feel like everyone is against you.”

To resolve this situation, all parties directly involved should have a chance to express their feelings. Then, work together to find a solution that works for everyone.

Bring this up if you feel like you have been treated unfairly. It may not have been intentional. It is possible to reduce the chances of it happening again by letting people know how you made them feel.

Negative self-talk and feelings of self-loathing often contribute to the belief that everyone else hates you too.

“Do you often talk to yourself? Maybe you feel like you can’t do anything right and wish you were a better person.”

“When you can’t let go of your feelings, they may start to color your perception of how other people view you If you don’t like yourself, how could anyone else?”

Self-hatred doesn’t just make you feel as if other people dislike you. It can also contribute to Depression., anxiety, and other emotional distress.

While worrying everyone hates you doesn’t always suggest an underlying mental health concern, sometimes it does relate to a deeper issue such as an anxiety disorder.

Many people who experience paranoia, for example, believe others hate them and have a plan to hurt them or ruin their lives. Paranoia can happen on its own, but it can also happen as a symptom of mental health conditions, including:

Social anxiety also involves extreme sensitivity to the reactions of others. A casual glance might seem like a glare, an honest evaluation like negative criticism.

You might feel like a laughing group of people. If no one seems interested in talking to you? You might conclude that they all hate you.

“If you can’t seem to fight the thought that everyone hates you, you should reach out to a mental health professional. A therapist can help you explore these feelings.”

If you’ve noticed other mental health symptoms, therapy offers a safe space to identify what’s happening and begin working toward improvement.

It is wise to seek professional help when you are feeling sad.

  • It will spill over into your relationships.
  • “It’s possible to affect performance at school or work.”
  • For a few days or a few weeks.
  • You should not enjoy life.

“You might know that everyone doesn’t hate you.”

But knowing this doesn’t mean you automatically accept it, so you might still wonder, “But what if they do?”

If you feel neglected or ignored, it never hurts to start a conversation and share your feelings. More often than not, you’ll find the people in your life care about you just as much as they ever did.

Crystal Raypole worked as an editor for GoodTherapy. Her interests include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. She is committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.